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Sudden realization

If Joobly was jewish then we could call her Jewdy! BWAHAHA!

I'll post something real later.

I wish I had a cooking show #1

Heyas! Today, I ramble on in my journal on food, and how to create delicious food, as I pretend I have my very own cooking show/food blog! Doesn't that sound delicious? So, as I was able to get fresh shrimp on sale, I decided to make Sesame Shrimp Toast, minus the sesame, as I forgot to buy it (bah, it's garnish anyway). The recipe came from one of my favorite cookbooks, The Shun Lee Cookbook, a cookbook from the owner of one of the best chinese restaurants I've ever been to. Now, admittedly, the dish is a chinese-american invention about as natively chinese as french fries are french (which is to say, not very), and they haven't served it at the restaurant since the 70s, but it's a dish I enjoy and it was in the cookbook so I figured I'd give it a shot. As I bought way too much shrimp, I decided to double the recipe. This was a mistake, as there was no one to share the food with, and upon finishing my dinner, I promptly got a bellyache from eating too much!

SO! To start (the non-doubled) recipe, you'll need
8 ounces of medium shrimp
1/4 cup minced water chestnuts (I totally forgot to buy these and omitted them)
2 scallions, white parts only, trimmed and minced
3 large egg whites
1 tablespoon cornstarch
2 teaspoons vegetable oil, plus more for deep frying
1/2 teaspoon salt
1/2 teaspoon ground white pepper
5-6 slices fine-grained white bread, crusts removed (I used Pepperidge Farm, didn't bother to remove the crust.)
5-6 teaspoons black or white sesame seeds (I omitted these as well, forgot to buy them!)

So, to start, gather all your ingredients so they're all at hand when you need them. Here is everything I used in the recipe!

Doesn't that look lovely? Note the shrimp.

That is waaay too much shrimp. You'll want less than half the amount I used.

Ignoring the fact that I am an idjit who can't count, devein and peel the shrimp if they're not already.

Once you've got that done, discard the shells, and get ready to mince the shrimp very finely. Usually, you use a food processor for this. As I do not have one in the apartment, I attempted to use a blender.

Overall, that was a pretty dumb idea. Blenders are for liquids, not solids! Bad Hrydziuszko, BAD! After failing with the blender, I minced them by hand, and was left with a rather unappetizing "mash" of shrimp.

You'll want to take this lovely substance, and put it into a bowl for use in just a minute. I promise it ends up better than it looks at this point. Now grab those Scallions, trim off the green parts, and mince the white bits. This part you should do by hand, as using a food processor will release the chlorophyll in the scallions, and turn your shrimp green.

Once you've minced the scallions, add them to the bowl with the shrimp.

Now add the salt, 2 eggwhites, cornstarch, white pepper, 2 teaspoons of vegetable oil to the shrimp and scallion bowl.

At this part, it'll look pretty... special. Don't worry, this is about the worst of it. once it's all together, mix it really well. Then take that last eggwhite and beat it until it's foamy.

To prepare this for cooking, take a spoon, dip it into the egg, then the shrimp, and scoop some shrimp mix out and spread it on slices of bread.

In the end, you'll have a bunch of this:

Now that you're ready to cook, heat some oil up in a saucepan or wok (I prefer woks, myself) to 350 degrees F. Add the slices of bread to the oil, shrimp side down, being careful not to crowd them. Don't worry, the shrimp shouldn't fall off the bread (which will float in the oil)! The oil should bubble festively.

Once the underside turns a golden color, in about 1 to 1.5 minutes, flip it over.

Cook it this way until the underside of the bread turns a nice golden color as well. This takes around 30 seconds. When it's done, use a slotted spatula or such to move it onto paper towels to drain, shrimp side up. Repeat this process until you've used up all your shrimp mixture!

Slice into quarters, and serve! Bon appetit! And remember, don't be dumb like me and make way too much and then try to eat it all yourself because there's no one around to share with. Good food deserves to be had with others!

OM NOM NOM! Next time, I'll write on how to cook a giant slab of meat!


Ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow my brain. Is this what's supposed to happen when you watch highlander for the first time on 3-4 hours of sleep late at night? It feels like someone took my brain, and mashed it with two eggs, a cup of milk, a teaspoon of baking powder, two cups of bisquick, and a splash of vanilla extract and made fluffy breakfast items out of the batter. Then proceeded to stuff them back into my skull. Ow ow ow ow ow. I'll make a post that makes sense when my head isn't filled with brainpancakes.


Getting it out of my system

Reading Lysori's latest journal, for whatever reason, got a huge amount of creative juice flowing. The only problem is I have grad crap to finish up! Soooo, this is me getting it out of my system for now, giving myself a few writing prompts. Which ones do you like?

There is no future amongst the stars. Once, they held great promise, an untold future for mankind. Now, they are but a fleeting dream beyond our grasp. As I float upon the abyssal expanse of the ocean and gaze at the stars, I wonder what could have been had we not destroyed ourselves in our arrogance. It's almost ironic. When we had our chance to become one with the heavens, our light blotted out the sky. Now that it is all but extinguished, the stars shine clearer than ever. I would take respite from their mockery in the light of the day, but the lethal rays of the once life-giving sun deny me an escape outside of death. It's futile, I know, attempting to eke out a living underneath a force that has scoured life from the continents, but the will to survive is as strong as ever. We shall prolong our torture until we have drawn our final breath, underneath the mocking light of the stars.

It's hard to believe the stars exist these days. In the squalor and filth of the arcologies, seeing is believing, and even if one could see the sky, it's doubtful that your vision would peirce the clouds of smog that float above. The hopeful cling to rumors of life blooming beyond our choking planet, and the rest of us mock them for their foolishness. Survivors don't have the time for hope. Life lies somewhere between the dying machines of an age gone past and ruins of the good will of man, and I refuse to join the legions whose hopes are trampled by the invididual will to survive at the expense of all else. But hey, that's why I carry a gun. Taking a long drag on my cigarette, the smoldering tip is the brightest light in the tunnel that feeds to the lift connecting ground level to the upper tiers of the arcology. To my left, ancient concrete. To my right, a warren of rotting machinery, it's purpose long forgotten. The perfect place to hide explosives. I check the ammo in my gun, and take a final drag on my smoke. It's going to be a busy night.

IT'S A TRAP! (Actually, it's a meme)

So, there I was, miles deep in thought, working on a cure for cancer when Joobley came along and tagged me, ruining any chance mankind ever had for a cure! So, for the next 8 days, each day, I have to post something that made me happy. Like keeping a cure for cancer ll to myself. :)

-I WOKE UP TO SNOW! Honest, heavy, unrelenting snow! It was fantastic! I haven't seen snow like that in years, since I started going to school in the south. It was glooorious.
-I shoveled the snow! I know, normally, that's just work, but it felt really good to do something nice and physical for once after nothing but weeks of studying.
-I threw snow at my siblings- wait... I think I'm starting to notice a pattern here.
-Caught up with people in the area and made some plans! I'm going somewhere with MORE snow! Wheee!

I wonder if you can tell what I have on the brain.
So, there's been a fox running around the area lately. Going to put out some scraps of raw goosemeat tomorrow, see if we can lure him and get a good picture! Wish me luck!

Also, I tag lysori

I hate it here. (Your tears are delicious)

I think that's an appropriate way to start of a brand new blog, don't you? Gets attention. The guy's here for all of ten seconds and he hates it already? But it's really kind of a lie. I don't really hate it here. At least not yet.

You see, what I really hate is the people. Not the people here, mind you. Not yet, anyway. No, it's the people at my University. This happened to me just the other day, right before my physics final, and it both increased my loathing for people in general and uplifted my heart at the same time! My physics professor is a very nice fellow. He's one of those teachers that if you get, you'll be talking about fondly years later with your buds, recollecting the time he shot you with a marshmallow launcher to demonstrate the physics of a parabolic arc. Well, I WILL ANYWAY. He also lets us take open book exams. That's right; we get the entire textbook at our disposal. Now, we can't write in them or take in personal notes, since he tests very heavily from the homework, but overall, it's an incredibly useful thing to let us bring in.

Of course, not everyone wants to put in the amount of effort required to get an A in this class. As the semester progressed, it became incredibly obvious to all of the students that most people were just sticking the worked out solutions to the homework problems into their textbooks and cheating on the tests, and taking advantage of the fact that he was out of the room for half the exam. This bothered me immensely. Normally, I don't care if people cheat, but to take advantage of a really nice guy who was making every effort to make this class as painless as possible for the idiot masses that have the class as a basic studies requirement, that just irked me. Also, I'm mean. So, what did I do? The easiest thing possible. I sent him an email. I don't think I need to specify what was in it.

The amount of effort it took to destroy over half a dozen people was surprisingly small. I mean, a few keystrokes a mouse click. I wish it were always so easy. I mosey into the class at 8am on exam day with my book, sitting amongst students who cleaaarly have not studied for the final. I mean, why would they when they have the answers tucked safely away in their books? The professor then made the announcement that shook the heavens. It had come to his attention that people had been less than honest on previous exams, and as a result, he would be ensuring all papers were taken out of the books before the test, and that all textbooks were clean of hand written notes. In fact, in the future, he'd only be allowing formula sheets on the tests. One pass of the room and a dozen groans later, we finally started the exam.

Overall, it really wasn't hard. I finished with ample time (plus a small headache), and confidence in my work, and was debating on whether I'd celebrate with a bowl of Ramen or Gyu Don from a local Japanese deli, when came the part that made it really pay off. Several of the idiots from my class were gathered outside, furious. It went something like this:

"I can't believe someone did that!"
"There's no way I passed that."
"They just ruined this whole class for me!"
"How am I going to pass the next half of physics?".
I dunno, study? They all turned to me, assuming I was sharing their misery. "Why the hell can't people just mind their own business? Just because they're too good to cheat doesn't mean they need to shit on the rest of us!"
"Maybe they get vindictive pleasure out of watching other people suffer?"
"Well, then they're just an asshole!"

Lady, you have nooo idea.